It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
