So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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