Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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