And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
