Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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