my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
