She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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