she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
