I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
