he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
