"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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