just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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