NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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