it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
