uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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