Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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