Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize