i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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