so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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