um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
