Someone shit on the floor
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
