Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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