My girlfriend figured out who you are.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
