Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
