And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
