its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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