Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize