i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
