I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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