Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
