Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize