Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
