considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My vagina is very pro this idea
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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