peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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