he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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