i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
