I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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