Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I supernannyed him into submission
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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