: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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