i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
