The maid of honor just puked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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