Barsexuality is the new black.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize