She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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