so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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