her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
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Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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