She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize