we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
