just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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