My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
