guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
