I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
