so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Four minutes until I can fart!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
