so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
