She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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