I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is my gift to your gina
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
